Polyamorous Possibilities

WikiPedia has an excellent definition of polyamory. Here we are more concerned with polyamory as one of several possible relationship choices facing Tantrikas.

There are some that hold that the fullest expression of Tantric love is to be found in coming to terms with the complexities of emotion encountered in a 1-on-1 relationship. While this may be the case in an ideal world, it is also worth considering that dyadic relationships have no corrective mechanism and therefore are open to problems that polyamorous ones are not. Here's the breakdown:

• Person A deals well with some things, and not with others.
• This is also true for Person B.
• Where they share capabilities, either is happy to take up the slack.
• Where one excels and the other lags, adjustments can be made.
• Where both lag, matters do not get handled, and tend to pile up.
• Whoever can tolerate the buildup the least, takes action.
• In the give-and-take of relationship, this situation can become quite lopsided, since either party can call the other into question by characterizing their point of view as an opinion and insisting that one opinion is as good as another.

If we examine a polyamorous relationship, the dynamic is different:

• Person A deals well with some things, and not with others.
• This is also true for Person B.
• This is also true for Person C.
• Where they share capabilities, anyone is happy to take up the slack.
• Where one excels and the others lag, adjustments can be made.
• Where all 3 lag, matters do not get handled, and tend to pile up.
• Whoever can tolerate the buildup the least, takes action.
• In the give-and-take of relationship, the two will tend to call the 3rd into question, and although that person can insist on their point of view, they are less likely to prevail since they are the minority in a 2/3 vote.

"If one person calls you a horse's ass, you can argue with them. But if 2 people call you a horse's ass, get yourself a saddle."

For this reason true polyamory demands a higher level of integrity than monogamy. This said, there are many who misrepresent their intentions. there are people who present themselves as polyamorous, when in fact they hold the bargaining chip of disengaement over the heads of one or more partners. "Well if you feel that way, I'll leave." this is not true polyamory, since there is no commitment. It might be better characterized as Sexual Opportunism, and tends to be a chip that attractive and manipulative people can play.